Untitled

Blackout
by Charles Clayton

I know, I know: there are people in the world living on less than a dollar a day, literally crapping out their life force due to a lack of clean water and various third world diseases, but that doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to bitch about how backwards things sometimes are here in New Mexico.

Bad schools and drug addled parents, shady dealings and nepotism at all levels of local governance, the stoopid gang culture, and how the POWER ALWAYS GOES OUT around here during big events like the opening day of baseball season.

IT'S OPENING DAY FOR CHRISSAKES! Spring is in the air, beer is chilling in the fridge, the rabbit ears are getting some decent reception, the Sox are looking good this year...and then some obese stoned mother with a tattoo on her neck and a piercing in her eyebrow is driving too fast and yapping on her cell phone or slapping one of her seatbeltless brood in the back of the mini-van and fails to notice the curve in the road. Dry road. Fine weather. Middle of the goddamn day. Right into the power pole.

Wreckoning

by Gary Feuerman

This could have been me. I’m writing because this could have been me. Many times. But not usually in the light, although who knows what can happen? The pole got knocked off its base and still stands. The car rests on its side. Both wrenched and beaten, bent and splintered. I can’t get too poetic here, not on purpose. It’s now. It’s pelting cold rain on my house in the early dark of late October. The road, dusty for weeks, is now a sloppy horse track. I’m sneezing virulently, all day, by myself. I don’t know if it’s a cold, allergies or if the house is sick from dust or silica, or something in the air. I’ve sneezed so hard that my head hurts, and a cough has developed, still dry, but wheezy and fluttery in the chest. I’ve sneezed so loud that the windows rattled. I had some good thoughts earlier, but now I feel achy, sick and alone. Now I remember the first smell of moisture in the morning, one that gave me an old sadness of Long Island in November. A sweetness in it, a loamy, earthy, mulchy sweetness that feels like funerals, or waiting out arguments on the porch at Thanksgiving. Some days it would remind me of falling face first in the grass after scoring a touchdown in a schoolyard or backyard football game, but not today. It spelled an ending. I fought it and worked at the desk here at my house – no office to go to anymore. And I did ok, got through deadlines, closed a substantial private loan for the brewery, banged out some emails, saw the Facebook news and messages. This made me feel far removed from whatever it is that is happening out there. I’m not grasping it, although I feel dangerous when I see and hear clips of violence; not “in danger” but dangerous. Dangerous to myself, and to others knowing there is a seed in me that can grow a violent protester, or a martyr which can be just as violent. I don’t know about this 1% and 99%. My gut says that’s too easy. But I don’t have the capacity to think of ways to “fight” the power, whatever that is. Maybe the idea is to turn back to where you are and live in community, tribally, feed and feed alike. Trips to the farmers markets this summer and fall have felt abundant. There’s always food left, tons of food. What is it we’re worried about? Why can’t we build our own schools and teach the way we want? Why can’t being in a beautiful place with endless playgrounds, and rich varieties of heart opened people with all the stories of the world be enough? We could take in travelers from other tribes, an oasis in the desert, and send them off with our art, our love, our food, and the spark that they brought us enlivened? And they can do for us the same. Why do we have to worry about Wall Street, or the far right, far left, far flung? We already have the under layer of a barter economy. We have the skills and resources to live sustainably. We have accessible riches of art and culture to keep our myths evolving, and our child’s eyes forever awake and dreaming. We can live on little money and be secure. We can ignore Wall St. I know we can. I’d need some guidance from others, and in a circle I can guide in some ways. I’m willing to work the fields and clean the dishes. I’m willing to break down my barriers and help. I’m lonely as fuck right now in my house, listening to the rain, checking Facebook in the hope that I’ll get a personal message from someone, the new form of looking in the mailbox for a letter, but much more cruel and need-soaked because you can look every 30 seconds (less!) like a tic and you might not get what you need “out there.” I’d be happy to crack this solo habit and commune (as long as there’s some private space ) . I believe it’s part of what I’m doing with the brewery. Wall Street certainly did not help us, hell, our own village leaders and “community” banks did not help us (that’s frigging euphemistic!). We’ve gone bankless, lo these 5 years, but I’ve become brothers with my partners and we scraped and scrounged for our initial investments (leveraging houses built by hand – thank you mortgage mania, frugality of saving pennies, and for me going to a fanatical believer for some – thanks Mom!) and with steady fervor convinced others to join the circus. Am I angry that we don’t have the burden of a $500,000 loan from US Bank and the tightrope walk that goes with that? You can answer that question. People have bought into the business. People have built with us for years for some equity and some beer. Yes, they think we’ll make some money. Yes, we think we’ll make some money. We’re not down on money, although if things go barter and fully communal, what a great place the Rock Garden will be! Who will care at that point as we quaff heavenly beer, play volleyball in the sun and listen to killer music? Alright, yes, I’ve been selling this place a lot lately, so maybe some of that has spilled over. You don’t have to buy a share, no worries. So, I don’t know. I was just in a play in Taos, the lead in a fucking play, an original play. Where else can some shmo from Long Island be the lead in an original, surreal romantic tragicomedy with wacked clowns, burlesque and a grandpa 5 years older than him? No, we’re not doing anymore shows, so I’m not promoting here. I’m just saying. You want to be in a play, just be in it. You want to grow food, grow it. You want to spit poetry, spit it. You want to share your skills and live heart, share them. You can wreck any time whether you deserve it or not, so I say, fuck worrying about Wall St., let’s have a coffee or a beer and dream a dream of here/and now.

Done Chrysalis

by Johanna DeBiase

She should have known to slow down when the tires slipped going under the overpass. She might have pulled over for the night, but she had an irrational need to get to the Corn Palace before putting the road to bed. The soft rain had just begun, winter dark just fallen. She must have been doing seventy when the tires slipped again. The Jeep spun a one-eighty and rolled onto the roof of the passenger side where her buddy Jim was shielding his head. The roll continued onto her side, tossing them around in a state of blank suspension. Glass shattered in her hair. Somehow, it landed on all fours, on the other side of the gully, perpendicular to on-coming traffic.

To her right, headlights stared her down. She could not open her door. Her left hand was fucked up. She felt for her left pinky, bent back from the top knuckle and grabbing it, snapped it back into place with painless adrenaline. Jim managed to get his door open and she crawled out his side. He was cradling his right arm to hold in the bone jutting out of his elbow.

The first responders found them there in the ditch, in the rain, broken and huddled close. She kept asking them to check her hair for glass as they covered them with blankets. When the paramedics finally arrived, they wrapped her neck in foam and strapped her into the gurney. Sirens preceded their arrival. She was half-way to the hospital in an ambulance swerving and sliding along the icy back roads when she was struck with a moment of clarity. Shit, she thought to herself, I'm really fucking high.

Untitled

by Robin Powlesland

maybe

the reason for each

one of these

loves

or someone once called

them

mistakes

this waking up

in the morning

or late at night

or just because this someone

said our name just right

just soft enough

we had to lean in

closer

and taste the mistake

before tasting the person

before feeling the metal

crash into our bodies

the glass break across our faces

and the time

each time it happens

we feel the end

just as the same as the

beginning

Summer Goodness

What'll It Be?

by Charles Clayton

Uncork the bottle. Inspiration flows.

Wine loosens the lips. Inhibitions vanish.

Poetry. Songs. Stories.

Throat chakra freed

muses pour forth

laughter

mirth

joy

Uncork the bottle. Let it all hang out.

Wine warms the loins. Inhibitions vanish.

Passion. Lust. Heat.

Sweet nothings whispered.

Release

orgasm

union

Uncork the bottle. Happy hour.

Wine blurs the vision. Judgment fails.

Stumble. Slur. Double vision.

The key turns

drive

swerve

crash

Uncork the bottle. Pain denied.

Wine masks feelings. Tears held back.

Regret. Sorrow. Guilt.

The gun cocked

trigger

bullet

brain

Uncork the bottle. Let her have it.

Wine blinds. Fists fly.

Anger. Hate. Self loathing.

The kid watches.

Mom’s black eye

trapped

patterns

Will the muse

make up for

the hangovers?

Will the orgasm

balance out

the jailtime?

Will the songs

console

the battered woman?

Will the reverie

make up for

the sorrow?

Toast Goodbye to Summer

by Johanna DeBiase

Goodbye shallow murky rivers where we float in tubes and bury our ankles in minnows.

Goodbye bare shoulders streaked with tan lines and feet cracking open.

Goodbye buttercress and favas off the vine.

Goodbye outdoor music with hipsters drinking beer on patio chairs.

Goodbye camping road trips to orange rock caverns and alpine meadows.

Goodbye grass between our toes, sun on our bellies, wind through uncapped hair.

Goodbye, summer, goodbye.

Fairy Dust

Fairy Dust

by Johanna DeBiase

In college, Beth took acid. It was not an optimal situation since she was alone and at a Phish concert. Still, Beth swore she saw fairies - points of gold light interspersed in the trees. Later, when similar lights off the water began to chase after her, she still believed she had seen fairies – a little window opened in her consciousness and let them in.

Even after swearing off acid forever, on occasion, she might still see those points of light, only one, only rarely.

Then she had a little girl she named Lily who for some time loved tiaras and wings. Beth confirmed for her the existence of fairies and they both made up songs to enchant them. Years later, after Lily outgrew fairies, tearing pictures from her wall, Beth was disappointed. However, she was pleased to discover, she could sometimes spot a golden point of light just beyond Lily's left ear.

Untitled

by Robin Powlesland

Soft.

Marketing of small letters

And words.

We stop to listen

But get crowded out by all

The people walking

Through.

I have found her voice

By chance

As if by chance.

It is soft

And just enough dance

For me to feel

The twilight

In us all.

Fiesta Princess

-E. Mack

The dancehall is nearly empty. The floorboards pre-date the dozen people scattered in chairs along the side wall, most of whom collect a pension by now. A section on the far side of dancefloor completely rotted away a few years ago, and a ten-foot square section of gleaming new laminate contrasts with the gray, aged pine planks that surround it.

Two guitarists on stage look tired. They're playing a Gospel version of "Sweet Home Alabama" with the chorus changed to "Sweet Heaven, Hallelujah." The fluorescent lighting, stained walls and smell of processed cheese wafting from the snack bar in back make the original version seem more appropriate.

My daughter is twirling alone while the old people look on, red hair flying, gossamer faux angel wings flapping and the unfamiliar plastic crown she must have stolen from one of her friends repeatedly falling to floor.

Soon the Fiesta princesses will be making their grand entrance.

A guitar string breaks in the middle of the second verse, the song stops, but the little girl keeps twirling.

A replacement guitar is found before the princesses arrive 90 minutes late. There are now three little girls twirling, sliding, luxuriating on the slick laminate floor section. Before I notice the royal procession preparing to enter from the back, a few of the old people are directing my daughter to a chair, gently and with a smile.

I sit next to her. Her mother appears with nachos. The jalapenos are pickled. We both direct our daughter's gaze to the line in the back of the room. The fiesta princesses are far from contemporary. No updating of the outfits to be more stylish or sexy, a little more Disney. Instead, there are intricate crowns and long, heavy flowing robes in royal blue.

Rather than be impressed or awestruck, the three-foot tall person sitting next to me is devastated by a case of princess envy.

"It's not fair they're more beautifuller than me!"

She crosses her arms across her chest so forcefully she creates a self-imposed straight jacket.

My pep talk about everyone being beautiful in their own way and waiting for her day to be princess doesn't help. It sounds like bullshit even to a three-year-old, and it is. There's never going to be a Jewish princess of this Catholic celebration.

After the procession and the nachos recede, we head to the other side of the village where electronic music blares from the old theater. A few dozen hipsters from Santa Fe are making jerky movements out-of-sync with the beat on the stage. My daughter finally releases her arms from their locked position and runs in their direction, tiny wings flapping behind.

Cerro Glow

Before and After

by Gary Feuerman

Before the fire

there was a glow

from the silken sun

as I stood in water

dreaming of love

After

I looked west

and beat the rugs

like old enemies

breathing time

Wild Fire

by Johanna DeBiase

When the dogs start barking and the magpies make a nuisance with their clucking, I know the red fog is coming in. Out the western window, I see the smoke collide with thunder and hope the slate clouds win. But the wind is fast, wild and fierce – La Niña, a wrathful goddess. By the time I am done shampooing my dog who rolled in dung to cool off, the air is charred and stuffy. The animals are silenced and the sun is red. We hurry inside.

Yesterday, I rolled in mud at a spa due west, recessed in red canyon walls. The smoke appeared suddenly, with limited visibility and my throat became dry and scratchy. We raced home blasting the A/C, the smoke chasing us while we sped across the mesa. Plump gray and welcoming clouds hovered over town, our fortress of mountains, and as we entered Taos's perimeters, it began to rain. Oh, the cleansing scent of steaming hot tar and wet sand.

A sign of things to come, I hope, as the red plumes of smoke and toxins – the dust of old growth pines or the carcinogenic particles of plutonium – settle around us encased in closed summer houses.

Cerro

by Robin Powlesland

the fireworks display stands empty

and Jeff N. stalks Paseo

with his angry yet honest

yet certain words

today is the first day

I am truly weary of the smoke

and how insular it is to say that

how unfair

it all seems too big really

to know

and also still fairly far away

we dream about rain

flying bullets hit young men

in the face in Taos this weekend

and we watched each other

talk about our creative processes

as if they happen alone

I want to be around Flora

my friends’ three year old

red-headed whimsical daughter

because I do not understand

what her life will look like

it doesn’t look like this

I am bruised from last night’s dancing

and keep seeing a stranger’s dimples

but still New Mexico is burning

we are struggling to breathe

our way through this

Los Alamos on the hill

and we can’t look away

the fireworks stand displays empty

and I know now what the Mayor drinks

what we all drink

we are all always drinking

the future is paralyzing

and yet the events are stacking up

on facebook

as if everyone needs one more

party

as if the bacchanal rights

could fix everything that is going wrong

all over this earth

as if mother nature could be placated

by placating ourselves

as if we had another chance

or a chance at all

my flowers continue to bloom on my plants

and music comes from the plaza

it feels humid as the smoke condenses our moisture around us

I do not want to drink anymore or feel tired or overwhelmed

I want the future to open up like these red flowers in front of me

propel us into something more

but I am just small I am just insular

and the comets will come and the flame and the rain

the plutonium is inches from my face

a bullet in my throat

Space

(575)
By Eric Mack

River cracks the Earth,
Seven syllables this line,
The bridge to Haiku.


North
by Gary Feuerman

I like the volcanoes

on the Mesa

near where my house is

invisible from space

There’s a tributary of the Rio

that runs from the mountains

still covered in snow

like healing powder

sprinkled to cool the pain

My body

on looking into the valley

wants first to run west

into the flatness

of desert

but below the skin

my soul dreams north

space

by Robin Powlesland

the space between teeth

changes

throughout the day

and it’s hard to know

what I make

and what is real

where do we go from here

too the mistake

voiced and distinguished

I brought my tarot cards

to tell the future

but no one wants to hear it

the voices have been

told and loud

I have very much liked

yesterday

and the day before

but today and tomorrow

are like my tooth

missing and what’s left

is a little swollen

empty

where do we go from here

but wave our magic

wands and hands

purses and matchsticks

work our way through

all the stuff

just so much stuff

Rift

by Charles Clayton

700 miles

Colorado to Chihuahua

“New Mexico” gets wider:

one mile every million years

Fault block mountains rise

valley basement drops

buried seashells exposed

glaciers come and go

rain wind rivers snow

tear everything to pieces

grains of sand

carried to the Gulf

Magma probes the crust

earth skin pulled taut and thin

volcanoes burst through

low spots fill with molten lava

become high spots

basalt mesa rimrock

cinder cones shields

back to black dust

blowing in spring winds

River follows rift

no valley of its own

no branching watershed

long lonely line of life

carving out canyons

digging deeper

straight south to El Paso

and suddenly

east

and

out

leave the rift behind.

Untitled

Untitled

by Charles Clayton

100 million years ago

Shifting dunes blowing sands

"New Mexico" south of the equator

Dinosaurs humping and laying eggs

1000 years ago

Images pecked on a sandstone wall

Flecks of obsidian sharpened arrows

Bighorn sheep boiled in the clay pot

100 years ago

Mormon cowboys red dust

Pause and look at pictures on the rocks

Cattle chomp on golden grasses

10 years ago

Powerlines buzzing overhead

Plastic grocery\bag stuck in the sagebrush

Graduate students ponder the hunter

1 day ago

Sunshine warm rock

Arrowheads in the soil

Cowboys in the grave

Professors explain the Anasazi

Then There Were Three
by Eric Mack

It was easier in two dimensions. Without depth there was no need for deep thoughts, and somehow everyone seemed a little less smug, little less full of shit. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Height, width, nothing more complicated than geometry--that's the life though, right? Something's in the way, you better jump over it, get under it or go right through it; no goin' round, circumventing or sneaky tricks.

There's been improvements since we upgraded though, to be sure. Flat cuisine, for one--ain't missed it for a second, and anyone who says different's lying through their fleshy fibhole. By my reckonin' the steaks and the sex are just about the only reasons we don't just upload ourselves onto some hard drive to be spit out an inkjet back where we came from. And the mountains, too, I guess. I mean, damn. We just had those all wrong before.

But I still miss it - they didn't tell us we'd be trading one dimension for another; got a wider world but seemed to lose the time to check it out. Forward progress always kicks the shit out of nostalgia I guess.

(--sent from my iPad2)


Shooting Sheep in the Sky
by Gary Feuerman

Her sister was visiting. It was still early in the relationship, maybe 3 months in. We still made love at least twice a day, and whispered to each other in the corners of parties and bars about the things we wanted to try. It all smelled like fresh raspberries. You know when you look close at a newly picked berry? The round, trembling buds filled with soft flesh and juice. A little hairy, but always ready to burst. That was us. I could do no wrong, although I often thought that what we had couldn't be real, not really. It had to burst and disappear at some point. I had to eventually stumble, break the bubble and watch the mist of love float into nothing.

So Sis was coming and I was the Taos Guy. What to do? She was a fierce intellectual, Sis, with eyes that ate and doubted everything said, but also wanted to just play and grapple. One night on the toilet, tucked safely in the back of the house, I spied a local tourist mag on top of a pile of paperback novels I hadn't read, but figured I'd at least get snippets of if they were piled in the bathroom. I reached for it and brought it to my lap. On the cover was the picture of a petroglyph - a pregnant woman praying next to a set of 4 concentric circles. Like a sign from God, I knew that this, this was the thing to do. A friend had told me the week before that there was a path off of Ranchitos Rd. along the Rio Pueblo where the petroglyphs were etched into the rocks along a little limestone ridge on the mesa.

We went there the next day, a scorching one with endless blue sky. We parked near a house, but off the road and set off into the cottonwoods along the tumbling little river. Sis pulled a joint from her shorts and we smoked it. Stoned, but with purposes, I led us up into the rocks beyond the trees. A cliff about 30' high ran north-south parallel with the river. When I got to the rocks, I pressed my face against them to feel the heat. T and Sis followed suit without words. All was quiet. No cars. No wind. No other people. I moved south along the wall dragging my fingertips along the rough sandstone. After 20 yards I came upon an etching of a vibrant sun over two sets of concentric circles with 4 and 5 rings painted in a rusty red. Petroglyphs. I could hear T and Sis breathing. We stood still and each in turn touched the indentations in the rock. T kissed me on my nose, and Sis then hugged me and whispered, "You are part of my clan."

Cavernas del Viejo Volcan

by Johanna DeBiase

I dig my heels into hard dust and stare out at a photograph in a magazine from someone else's vacation – white mountains holding hands around a splatter of lake blue. The wind blows hard, bellowing my hood up around my face. I climb the mountain, I enter the cave.

A ramble of meaningless words float around me and I will not look at him lest he think I understand. He spills water on the wall to make visible the fine red lines of some ancient sketching. His fingers trace the jagged lines. “Tall people,” he says in English, horizontal hand held high above his head.

“But how do they know that?” I ask my translator, my crouching husband.

“The last one died not too long ago.”

The. Last. One. He was a tall man.

My hip bones barely scrape through the damp tunnel, my head bumping up against jutting rocks. One knee in front of the other, one hand, then the other, one crawl closer to blind. Something falls into water somewhere. Someone whoops when they trip. A mother whispers comforting words to her child. Shh, the owls are sleeping. I commit the darkness to memory. Turning back toward a single point of light, I imagine that I am alone, for one moment, the last one in the world.

Lunar Eclipse

Made Visible

by Johanna DeBiase

My dog's barks became loud and incessant. I was worried she'd wake the kids. I rolled out of my sack on the bottom bunk and tried to quiet the creak of the door as I stepped outside the yurt in my long underwear into the cool night air. Five feet deep of snow rolled out like a blanket, across the meadow between the pine and spruce to the creek below and beyond atop the higher peaks further in the distance.

The full moon made the snow meadow glow like a fresh water pearl and accounted for my inability to sleep – super moon, vernal equinox. I unfastened my dog's leash and beckoned her to join me by the fire inside. Instead, she stared intently to the south along the side of the yurt, her snout pointed forward, her chest engaged and ready to leap into action.

I leaned over her to look. My heart startled. A black silhouette contrasted sharply against the iridescent snow – an animal, sitting upright, bigger than a cat, smaller than a dog, pointy ears and a bushy tail, which it waved across its body affectionately. It was staring back at me. I grabbed my dog's collar and pulled her quickly inside. My heart thumping out of my chest. Out the window, the fox continued to walk across the field and into the trees beyond.

Foxes live in between – night and day, meadow and forest; because of this, they are known for their ability to camouflage. Tribal people across the world revere fox medicine for its power of invisibility. Yet, this fox, this fox wanted to be seen.

Spring.

Moon.

Fox.

the fullness of it came closer

by Robin Powlesland

I can layer these names
into the texture between
morning and its due
possibly see the shadow cast
in midnights from before

I was young then and younger now
knowing that you have left
nothing behind you other than this
layering of camel buts
shorn and tossed about
my patio

I can see in the glare
of this moon
how this place has made
me what I wasn't before

Untitled

by Charles Clayton

Archetype of emotion

born of violent collision.

Reflecting pool reveals chunks of stardust

rejected by Sun's gravity embrace.

Far from the light, elliptical roaming,

then plunge towards a terrestrial speck

seething spinning coalescing cooling.

COLLISION.

Man on the moon a chunk of

Mother Earth, a chip off the old block.

Gray dust settles.

Mountains cast long lonely shadows.

Wax wane.

Tug at the sea.

Soak up gamma rays.

Eat meteors.

Light up the primordial night as

the blue orb below manifests bacterial

(r)evolutions from sea to slimy sea.

Billions of trips around the Sun.

Silver beams shine upon

trilobite backs

jellyfish glow

triceratop horns

mastadon woes

flecks of chipped stone

firepits and charred bones.

Every so often:

“Wolves are eating the moon!”

Eye of Horus, stolen.

Cough it up, sky dragon,

Shaman’s going to yank that arrow out

And make it all right again.

Untitled

by Eric Mack

During what would be my last year, I spent much of it traveling to the surrounding villages, recording oral histories from Native elders for the radio station. One old man in his late seventies from a northern village that sits just below the Arctic Circle shared a simple anecdote about how he used to monitor the extreme cold temperatures that had since become less frequent occurrences due to climate change. Sixty below is still common in Fairbanks, but the nights of minus ninety are long gone. In the 1940s, it seems, thermometers were a luxury not readily available in the villages, so the old man had developed his own scale for taking temperature when traveling overnight by sleddog team.

“50 below, that’s easy… you seen that before – just take a cup of hot water off the pot on the fire, throw it up in the air. If nothing comes down, you hit minus 50,” he explained, referring to a phenomenon that’s now widely demonstrated by awe-struck college students in Fairbanks on numerous Internet videos. “Now, 70 below… don’t see that much anymore these days, but back then, when your kerosene turned to jelly, you knew you hit 70.”

The old man paused, took a sip of watery coffee from a styrofoam cup, moved the microphone on the table in front of him back a few inches, then continued:

“Then, at 90 below, my dogs’ tails just fell off.”

He stood up, grabbed the cup and headed for the coffee pot in the other room.

“But, wait… what happened to the dogs?” I called after him, completely missing the point of the story and no longer concerned about his proximity to the microphone.

“Oh, they was fine… Sometimes maybe one of ‘em would quit, usually the older or sick ones… just lay down and die. Nothin’ you could do for ‘em. But most of ‘ems would be just fine, you just hook ‘em up to the sled, and they’d just run, they just leave them tails behind and just keep movin’… gotta keep movin’ to survive.”

Untitled

by Gary Feuerman

It was something that had not happened in hundreds of years. Before Shakespeare, the telescope, the Mona Lisa; just after the dark ages. 1378. Man was still relatively few and dealing with plagues. America did not exist and the United Kingdom was not so united. Venice thrived, and my lineage was lost somewhere between Crusades-scarred southern realms and forested hills in the mid north of Europe where wild boar and wolves killed some of my nervous ancestors. And here I was with friends, on a couch sitting on a dirt driveway in northern New Mexico, sipping vodka, craning my neck to see the orange moon, like a pill in the sky, like a globular glass of Lipton tea. December 21, 2010. A gathering of writers, wild souls watching ravens in the high tree branches, meteors streaking in green-white glitter, and the moon-sun dance, choreographed and timed to the minute, organization and deliberation among chaos. It was mild for December 21st. No snow on the ground, sweaters enough at midnight and later. The slow shading and unshading of the moon gave us patience. We sipped slower than usual. Not since 1378 had anyone witnessed this. Who saw it then? A shepherd? A monk on a mountain top in Tibet? A writer at her table scribbling by candlelight. An executioner with insomnia feeling vaguely guilty about the next head? Did anyone write about it? The printing press had yet to be invented. Did the Anasazi view it from the sacred circle of stones? Did they know it was coming? Most of the people went inside soon after the moon was covered. A friend and I waited it out. Full light returned near 3am. I was not sure what it meant or will mean to me, but it felt like the completion of a cycle.